Soft Gray Velvet Couches and What DEIB Directors Really Do in Schools

She ran down the hallway, making sure to stop by my office before going back to class. Out of breath, she excitedly shared, "I got in!" Screaming and jumping in celebration, I hugged the student and told her how proud I was of her. As the Director of DEIB I often have a front row seat to the lives of various students, watching them navigate the many challenges life throws our way. For some students, the soft gray velvet couch in my office is a safe seat for them to share the parts of themselves that society has dismissed as irrelevant or unintelligent and thus undesirable.

Senior year can be a very stressful time. Students who are still teenagers learning to manage their own emotions, create healthy boundaries, and love themselves are now asked to maintain their academic workload at the same pace and rigor of the prior three years of high school while writing college essays and scholarship applications, collecting financial information they often have no familiarity with in sometimes complicated family dynamics in order to submit financial aid documentation, and missing class to visit college campuses, all while navigating the stressful expectations of parents who want the best for their children. And if we were to add the nuances of family contexts, mental health challenges, socioeconomic access, racial and ethnic bias, or language limitations, just to mention a few, I wonder if "stressful" would accurately capture the senior experience during those first few months of the school year. 

As the parent of a current senior student myself, I vividly understand this backdrop. And in my role of Director of DEIB, I also understand the self-actualization stories of so many students, knowing how they entered freshman year, ways in which their learning difference or invisible disability was not always understood by their teachers, or how their racial or ethnic identity was not always validated as being critical to their healthy development into adulthood. And so the soft gray velvet couch becomes a seat of hope and comfort. In the face of rising mental health challenges, suicide rates, and so many other things amongst teens and school-aged children, my soft gray velvet couch is a visual reminder that they do belong. It sits in a space that will affirm and motivate when they are feeling discouraged and not seen. It is a tangible testament to the fact that there are people advocating for their success, while also challenging systems that might dismiss their value and purpose. 

And while the soft gray velvet couch may be comfortable, I would argue that I actually have the best seat in school. I get to know students of all grades and ages beyond the academic classroom, learning who they fully are as people and then I am invited in to nurture and affirm their strengths which may not always be visible in the classroom and lovingly challenge their areas in need of growth. I have the privilege of being their sounding board when they are struggling with friends, family, school work, teachers, self-identity and self-worth and then watching them bloom into who I always knew they could be from the first moment they sat on that soft gray velvet couch. And finally, I get to be a part of the celebration- one of the stops on their way back to class when they achieve a major milestone such as getting into the college of their dreams, recognizing that their struggles, all of their tears, the hard lessons and hard work brought them to this moment of self-actualization where they are now able to own that their diversity is valuable, their identity is beautiful, and their story is needed to fulfill their purpose in this world.

Contrary to what sociopolitical landscapes have demonized, what fear has escalated, and what hatred has allowed to breed, THIS is what DEIB Directors really do in schools!